


Tears In My Eyes

by kimaris



Category: JJ Project
Genre: Drabble, M/M, broken!jjp, post breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 05:57:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6107199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kimaris/pseuds/kimaris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaebum knows he shouldn't have said those words, because he's angry, and when people are angry they tend to say things they don't mean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tears In My Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Bieber's Nothing Like Us and Kesha's Dancing With Tears In My Eyes--  
> not proofread so there might be mistakes here and there i'm sarreh

 

 

Jaebum knows that it will eventually lead to _this_.

 

This, meaning, sleepless nights and puffy eyes that are tired of all his tears of self pity, he wouldn’t say that it wasn’t his fault because there’s no point in lying. He had always been a bit too controlling, too hot headed that sometimes he doesn’t even bother listening to what Jinyoung has to say.

 

But still, Jaebum thinks that maybe, maybe if Jinyoung stayed for a while longer he’d be able to understand. That Jaebum acts the way he does, because Jinyoung is the only one he have— _had_ —though in the end, it still ends up this way. Jinyoung left because _‘I can’t do this anymore, hyung,’_

 

Jaebum can still hear Jinyoung’s sharp intake of breath as he tries not to break down in front of the older male.

 

 _It’s not fair_ , Jaebum thinks. He’s drowning in self regrets and broken promises, while Jinyoung can act as if nothing happened at all. As if he hadn’t known Jaebum at all.

 

\--

 

It’s been three weeks since Jinyoung left him, but he still feels like it just happened yesterday. Jaebum stares at the ceiling, eyes red and tired. If only he can turn back time, he wouldn’t have said those things, wouldn’t have gotten mad for no reason at all in the first place, because people tend to say things they don’t mean when they’re angry and Jaebum’s no exception.

 

_“You might as well leave me for him!” he shouts, eyes filled with rage as he looks at Jinyoung who looks so small backed up at the wall._

_Jinyoung tries to reach out for him, but Jaebum slaps his hand away._

_“H-Hyung—“_

_“Shut up!” Jaebum knows he should stop, Jinyoung’s trembling in his spot and Jaebum feels his heart breaking because he’s making Jinyoung feel scared again when all Jaebum wanted to do was to make Jinyoung feel safe with him._

_“You always do this! Always acting on your own and never thought of what I would feel! You--” Jaebum pauses, his breath hitches, because somehow it feels like he’s scolding himself._

_Jinyoung blinks his tears away and chuckles dryly, “Right.” His voice sounds so broken and Jaebum just wants to brush his tears away. “It has always been about you, always about you.”_

_“Baby, I—“ Jaebum approaches the younger male, voice thick with fear._

_Jinyoung steps back, he shakes his head and with a knowing look he smiles bitterly at Jaebum. “I can’t do this anymore, hyung,”_

_Jaebum feels like his heart just stopped beating._

_“We should just break up.”_

Jaebum replays the scene in his head again and again until he feels his eyes closing, and when he woke up, it’s already seven in the morning. Another day has passed and yet he’s still here, tired but still waiting for someone who wouldn’t come back.

 

\--

 

Eventually, Jaebum had to leave his room. He can only ignore the calls from his parents (and best friend) for so long, and after five weeks of sticking in the same routine— _staying wide awake until two in the morning, eating whatever there is and then going back to his pitiful self_ —Jaebum convinces himself that he’s doing okay now.

 

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Jaebum is thankful for Jackson. His best friend made him realize that he can’t keep on torturing himself, that if there’s anything Jaebum should be doing, it should be learning from his mistakes and try to become better for his own.

 

However, Jaebum’s resolve quickly shatters into pieces when he sees Jinyoung walking with a familiar male; Jinyoung has that bright smile on his face. It hurts because Jaebum used to be the one making Jinyoung smile like that.

 

Before he knows it, he’s already approaching the two, heart beating loudly against his chest because after five weeks, he’s able to see again the person he treasures the most.

 

“Jinyoung! Jinyoung,” Jaebum finds himself holding on Jinyoung’s wrist. The younger male looked surprised for a second, but then he’s looking at Jaebum with a blank expression.

 

“Jinyoungie?” the male beside Jinyoung looks at Jaebum and how he’s holding on Jinyoung, it’s obvious that he doesn’t like it but he’s kind enough not to say anything.

 

Jaebum ignores the way his fingers tremble around Jinyoung’s wrist. “J-Jinyoung, I … I’m—“

 

“Please let me go,” Jinyoung cuts him off, face still void of any expression.

 

Jaebum freezes, Jinyoung’s words were so cold and his tone was anything but warm.

 

“Mark hyung and I have somewhere we should be right now, please let go.” Jinyoung repeats, but this time he doesn’t wait for Jaebum, he yanks his arm, freeing his wrist from Jaebum’s grip.

 

Jaebum feels nauseated as he watches Jinyoung and Mark turn around with the latter having his arm wrapped around Jinyoung’s shoulder and the younger male leaning ever so slightly in Mark’s side.

 

For the first time in five weeks, Jaebum accepts the fact that things wouldn’t be like they are before even if he tries.

 

Jinyoung is already miles away from Jaebum’s reach and all he can do is watch from afar and let his heart break just a little bit more.

 

 


End file.
